A Nostalgic Look Back: Frugality, 80s Fashion, and the Unforgettable Moments of Our Wedding Day
Stepping back in time through old photographs can be a truly wonderful, sometimes hilarious, and often heartwarming experience. We recently revisited pictures from our wedding day, a milestone that felt incredibly significant and mature at the time. Yet, looking at those images now, two decades later, Brian and I appear so remarkably young. We were in our mid-twenties, an age perfectly respectable for marriage, brimming with the optimism and slight naiveté that only youth can bring. It’s a sweet reminder of where we started and how far we’ve come.
The Foundation of Frugality: Crafting Our Dream Day on a Budget
Our wedding took place when we were just transitioning out of college life. Brian had proudly graduated the spring before, and I was in the midst of preparing for my student teaching and diligently working on my thesis for my graduate degree. Financial resources were, to put it mildly, quite limited. This meant that while we envisioned a beautiful celebration, practicality and frugality became our guiding principles. Our loving parents generously contributed where they could to help with the wedding costs, but a significant portion of the expenses either fell to us to cover, or required us to find imaginative and inexpensive alternatives. You can probably guess which path we enthusiastically embraced!
One of our most fortunate savings came from the ceremony venue itself. The stunning church, with its serene ambiance and beautiful architecture, was ours to use completely free of charge, as it was our cherished home church. This not only saved us a considerable amount but also added a deeply personal and spiritual layer to our vows. My wedding dress, a labor of love and ingenuity, was a transformation of my mother’s own gown. I meticulously re-worked it, adding a flowing long skirt, an elegant train, and delicate embellishments that brought it into a new era while retaining its sentimental value. The intricate sewing work was skillfully handled by my maid-of-honor’s wonderfully talented stepmother, a true blessing who saved us countless dollars. For decor, the church provided an abundance of candelabras, which we easily personalized with simple candles and tasteful bows, creating a warm and romantic glow without any extra expense.
However, no wedding, especially a budget-conscious one, is without its small regrets. My single lament, in the name of what I affectionately call ‘cheapness,’ was the choice of fake flowers. In retrospect, they stand out in the photos, and my current self, now an avid gardener, simply doesn’t care for anything artificial. I suppose it’s a sign of how much I’ve grown since then – my appreciation for natural beauty has truly blossomed, much like the gardens I tend today. It’s a minor detail, but it speaks to the evolving tastes and perspectives that come with time.
1980s Bridal Chic: Fashion, Hair, and Enduring Trends
Looking at Brian in these photos, he truly was, and still is, something special. So incredibly handsome; I honestly felt like I was marrying a model that day! It’s hard to believe his hair was ever quite this dark and lustrous. Nowadays, just a few years after our wedding, the distinguished silver strands began to appear, gradually transforming into the handsome gray he sports today. Coincidence, perhaps, or merely the passage of time and the wisdom it brings? Either way, he’s just as dashing.
My veil was another DIY project, meticulously crafted based on an inspiration photo I found in a *Brides Magazine*. Back then, having delicate sprays of fabric or flowers cascading down the veil was all the rage. It was the epitome of bridal fashion. Fast forward to today, and my daughter can’t help but giggle at the style, finding it utterly amusing and delightfully ‘vintage.’ She also finds great humor in my rather voluminous hair pouf, another quintessential 1980s style. But let me assure you, in the 1980s, big hair wasn’t just a trend; it was the only way to go! Interestingly, I’ve noticed that big, dramatic hair seems to be making a stylish comeback. It truly goes to show that fashion is a cyclical journey, always revisiting its past.
The peplum-style top, paired with a sleek, straight skirt, was another immensely popular silhouette of that era, and it formed the basis of my wedding gown. This elegant and flattering style was replicated for all the bridesmaids’ dresses, creating a cohesive and fashionable bridal party look. Their gowns were crafted in a stunning iridescent emerald green, a jewel tone that captured the light beautifully and provided a vibrant contrast to my white dress. I remain incredibly grateful to my best friend’s stepmother – the same incredibly talented lady who sewed my wedding dress – for undertaking the monumental task of sewing all the bridesmaids’ dresses. This generous offer allowed us to simply purchase the fabric, significantly reducing the cost for the bridesmaids, who otherwise would have had to pay for dresses they likely wouldn’t wear again. I certainly wasn’t fooling myself; formal bridesmaid dresses rarely see a second outing! And wouldn’t you know it, the peplum style is also making a triumphant return to fashion; I just spotted it in a recent magazine. It seems everything old is truly new again.
A Memorable Reception: Family, Food, and a Cake Calamity
This particular photograph, I must admit, is not the most flattering, but it holds a special place in my heart because it allows me to share a truly unforgettable story. Our wedding reception was a beautiful testament to community and family love. Every single member of my family – aunts, uncles, grandmas, cousins, and more – enthusiastically chipped in and brought an incredible array of delicious food for the reception. It was a potluck feast, overflowing with homemade goodness, and it made the celebration feel even more intimate and heartfelt. We are endlessly grateful for their generosity and effort.
Amidst all the wonderfully homemade fare, I allowed myself one significant splurge: a wedding cake. I had fallen completely in love with a particular carrot cake I’d tasted at another friend’s wedding. It was a decadent creation, featuring real cream cheese frosting – a true luxury and a delightful departure in an era dominated by lighter, whipped shortening frostings. It was absolutely scrumptious, and I scrimped and saved everywhere else in our budget to ensure we could have that one, perfect cake. It was my indulgent dream.
However, the dream quickly turned into a bit of a comedic nightmare. When we arrived at the reception, exhilarated and ready to celebrate, the cake was nowhere to be found. Forty-five minutes later, still no cake. Growing increasingly anxious, we finally made a call and were informed it was “on its way.” Meanwhile, our photographer, a friend who was capturing the day for us, was patiently waiting. We initially thought he was just lingering to enjoy the reception with us. Imagine our surprise when we received the bill and discovered he had been operating in “professional mode” for all that extra time, meticulously documenting the wait!
The highly anticipated cake finally made its grand entrance, a full hour late. This was a significant delay, especially considering our wedding started at 7:00 PM. By the time it arrived, around 9:00 PM-ish, some of our guests, particularly those with younger children or long drives, had already had to depart, missing out on the wonderful cake I had so desperately wanted them to taste. But the true pièce de résistance of the evening came when the cake deliverer (is that an official title?) began to assemble the tiers. Believe it or not, it was an unseasonably hot day in Oregon, about 90 degrees Fahrenheit, even 22 years ago on that very date. The combination of the heat and the extended time the cake had spent in the delivery van proved disastrous. We watched, in slow-motion horror, as the beautifully frosted layers began to visibly slide apart.
Then, in a moment that is etched forever in my memory, she took her bare hands (hands that had been… who knows where in the last few hours?), placed them firmly on the sides of the melting, tilting cake, and literally squished it back into place. I kid you not! While a part of me was slightly horrified, at that point, I just wanted to get on with the celebration. If you look closely at the picture, you’ll notice a strategically placed bouquet at the bottom and an odd red flower (at what was supposed to be my green and white wedding) perched on top. Yep, those were our quick attempts to hide the very visible damage. The bad news, of course, was that we ended up with this rather expensive photograph, thanks to our long-suffering (and perhaps a bit opportunistic) photographer. But here’s the good news: we called to complain about the cake fiasco, and to my absolute shock, they reimbursed us the entire cost of the cake! So, in the end, I got to have my beloved carrot cake (albeit a little lopsided), eat it, and miraculously, not pay for it. A silver lining indeed!
The Heart of the Celebration: A Lasting Love Story
However, despite the frugal choices, the quirky 80s fashion, and the memorable cake disaster, the absolute best part of that day, and indeed of the 22 years that have followed, is unequivocally my husband.
He is, and always has been, the true heart of our celebration. For over two decades, he has made me laugh almost every single day, bringing joy and lightness into our lives. He possesses an incredible ability to always see the good in people and in every situation, a trait that constantly inspires me. He challenges me thoughtfully, pushing me to grow and become a better person, always with love and encouragement. I am profoundly grateful for his unwavering spiritual leadership, his steadfast faithfulness through all of life’s ups and downs, and the fact that he has never been afraid to openly show his love for me, every single day, all these years later. Our wedding day was a beautiful beginning, filled with its own unique stories and imperfections, but it was the promise of a life together with him that made it, and continues to make it, truly perfect.
–Jami